The Captivating Carraway
by HellsGate201
Summary: A different take on the Great Gatsby, written from the perspective of the Great Gatsby himself. Jay Gatsby finds himself choosing between a lost love and a new start. Characters and plot may differentiate from the book. (GatsbyxNick) (GatsbyxDaisy) Oneshot


**AN:** **Why, hello there. This is my first story on this account and I** **feel it needs some explanation. This story is written in Gatsby's point of view, featuring him fighting with his inner demons and his love for Daisy (and a certain Carraway.)It is written as though Gatsby is thinking it, answering some questions I had in the book. This story is a oneshot, meaning there will be no second passage/chapter. I will, however, write several different forms of the revelation based on how you all want it to happen (you'll know what I mean if you reach the end.) Constructive criticism is appreciated, flames are not. I tried to mimic the book to my best ability, but nobody is perfect and some scenes may differ. This is written in a Stream of Consciousness format, something seen in Catcher in the Rye. Thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

It was a Sunday when Gatsby first saw him. The summer heat was just making itself known, something Jay both loved and hated. It promised long, hot days and twice as fruitful nights. At least, that was his hope. The heat made people more restless, more longing for excitement. That was something Jay was counting on.

He was counting that Daisy, just a small ways away by the sea dividing them, would hear of the lavish parties he threw and would wander her way in one day. Sure, it may seem like a bit of a longshot, but it was all he could hope for. Gatsby hoped that fate would enact the rest.

Perhaps it was fate that brought Nick Carraway to West Egg, to the run down old gardeners shack at Gatsby's left. Perhaps it was fate that made Nick so great, so un-judging that caused Gatsby to mess it all up. Perhaps Jay would never know. Perhaps he would be stuck to think over these events like a broken record, always skipping over that part you wanted- you _needed_ \- to hear.

And think over it he would.

Gatsby thought back to that first Sunday. It was the morning after one of his extreme parties. His servants had just returned his mansion to its proper glory, something he was all too thankful for. Had he known that he was possibly getting a new neighbor, he wouldn't have even thrown a party; then again, he probably would have anyway. Who knows if the only time Gatsby hadn't thrown a party might be the time Daisy had planned to go?

Nick's car had pulled in around noon, chock full with his belongings and, in Gatsby's opinion, hope. Nick Carraway was an ever hopeful man, though Jay would venture a guess that Nick didn't think that.

Jay had watched him move in. All of Nick's actions were quick and methodical, as if he had no question as to what he would be doing with all of his belongings, as if all of their spots were preordained.

It was peaceful in a way, watching Nick work. However, there were things Gatsby needed to get done and watching Nick was not going to get them accomplished. He had to resolve some pressing matters with Meyer Wolfshiem and Wolfshiem was not to be ignored. Gatsby would introduce himself some other time.

* * *

Another day, another party. In Gatsby's head it was growing rather monotonous. It seemed nobody knew of Daisy, that is until her friend Jordan, a famous golf player, wandered her way in.

Jordan was a gorgeous woman and Jay felt as though he recognized her from some place. Gatsby fumbled over his memories until his mind became clear. Jordan was there the very party where he had met Daisy.

Jay took his chances and cornered her when she was alone at the party. It had taken quite some time. It seems as though Jordan was a very popular woman. Once captured, Gatsby asked her a few questions, gauging her personality and whether or not she could be trusted.

She seemed like a completely likeable woman, so once Jay knew he could trust her, he asked her the question that had been on his mind all evening.

"Why yes, I know Daisy. She and I had dinner with her cousin just an hour ago. Shame she didn't feel like partying. I'm sure she would have loved it."

Gatsby's heart was doing jumping jacks and his stomach was making back flips. However, determined not to let his nervousness show, Jay cracked a somber smile, "Ah, yes. What a pity. Who is this cousin you are talking about? Anyone I've heard of?" Gatsby continued, a playful quality to his voice.

Jordan looked slightly astonished, "I would think you should! His name is Nick Carraway and he is your new neighbor. He's a lovely man, although I don't think he is quite cut out for life in New York."

Ah hah, finally a name for a face. Gatsby was happier than ever. First a link to Daisy and now a name for his mysterious yet quiet neighbor, Daisy's cousin, no less.

"It doesn't sound like you have much faith in him. What makes him such a target?"

Jordan thought for a second before answering, "He is far too innocent, I believe. He expects the best from people and forgives them if the best is not given. He is a selfless man that would put himself on the line to understand another's actions."

Gatsby raised his eyebrows, "What a … Dangerous combination."

Jordan shook her head, "I wouldn't go so far as to call it dangerous. He just cares too much, is all. I like to believe that is a strength."

"Perhaps..." A question.

"Perhaps." An affirmation.

* * *

Friday of the following week Gatsby had one of his butlers send out an invitation for Jay's weekly parties to one Nick Carraway. This was the first and last invitation Jay had ever sent out. Nick was the only person Jay had willingly invited into his life, something Gatsby will admit is an odd feeling. The others had simply been a necessity, a means to an end, the end being Daisy in his arms at last.

And so it was, that on that following Saturday night that Jay had watched Nick walk over from his house over to Gatsby's front gate, slight apprehension running through his body. Gatsby watched as, with shaking legs that became more confident with each step, Nick Carraway made his way to Jay's front step. Nick seemed to float through the people surrounding him to the front door. The mysterious man raised his right hand, a piece of paper clutched into it. Gatsby soon realized that was the invitation he had sent out. He felt abruptly stupid when Gatsby hadn't specified the letter wasn't necessary for entry, that Nick had been the only one to receive an invitation.

Nick probably wouldn't have come if not for the invitation. From what Jay had heard from Jordan, Nick seemed like that kind of man, the man that was ever afraid of being rude.

Still, Gatsby watched Nick until he was out of view, drawing the blinds when he could no longer see the other man. Now, Gatsby would wait. He would wait until he could no longer and make his way down to see the man he had been so interested to meet. Simply because of his connection to Daisy, Gatsby told himself, and nothing more. His subconscious deemed that a lie, but he ignored that. He was on a mission to find his one true love and to live the fabled happily ever after.

* * *

The party had certainly been an interesting one. Jay had finally met Nick, something he had been secretly been dying to do. Everything Jordan said had been proven true and then some. Nick Carraway was selfless and caring to a fault. There were a few other things Jay had noticed, like Nick's stunning, yet perceptive blue eyes or the dimple at his cheek whenever he would smile, however he would never admit them to himself. Jay was surprised to have recognized the man up close; they had served in the same division during the war. That fact left him slightly worried, maybe Nick would know where he was really from. He dismissed the thought quickly, Nick wouldn't know that or if he did he wouldn't push on the fact.

Gatsby felt almost disappointed when he left, having a butler tell Jordan he wanted to speak with her. He had wanted to speak to the quiet man some more. He would have time for that tomorrow, as Jay had invited Nick to spend some time with him on his hydroplane. Having broken away from that conversation, Jay was forced to revisit the important matters at hand however, made evident Jay's quick chat with Jordan.

He had to win Daisy's heart back soon. Jay had no reason to delay, so if only fate would cooperate, he would be fine. Or so he hoped.

Gatsby trailed Jordan down the stairs and to where her brute of a boyfriend and Nick were waiting. He watched as Jordan shouted "It all makes sense," and as Nick looked bewildered. Before Jordan was hastily shoved into the car by her special other, she was able to tell Nick to call her and that they would have tea soon. He could only hope it wouldn't be too late for love, if there was such a beast. An expiration date on love. Jay could only hope that existed merely in his darkest nightmares and nowhere else.

* * *

There were several moments of when Gatsby had watched over Nick that he could simply not forget. One was before he had even properly met the man.

It was in the week that Gatsby had sent out the invitation to Nick, on another Sunday. It seemed that Nick had one too many to drink but somehow had made his way home. However, he never truly made it into the house. The topcoat and the shoes he had left in were nowhere to be seen and his dress shirt was completely unbuttoned as was the vest underneath, making for a comical, yet slightly intimate view. The man was fast asleep on his porch swing, his left hand resting on his bare stomach. Nick was lucky it was such a fine summer's day as there was no need for a blanket, and thus he slept peacefully.

Gatsby had not been aware he had been staring at the other man sleeping until Nick had woken up, confused at his surroundings. Startled at himself, Gatsby stepped back from the window and gathered his thoughts. Daisy was the one he was after, not her cousin - a man, no less. Jay knew what he wanted and he would get it. He needed it- Daisy's love. It was the reason he woke up in the morning and lived this tired existence. He had to get it.

* * *

After the ride on the hydroplane, Gatsby had invited Nick out to lunch, in order for Nick to know his mission. Nick had agreed and so they settled on Wednesday. Gatsby would pick him up around 11 am and they would go to "The Barber Shop". Of course, Nick didn't know of that little tidbit, but Gatsby was interested as to how Nick would react.

The day had rolled around and Jay was nothing short of excited yet terrified. What if Nick said no? Gatsby wouldn't know what to do with himself then. He would have to make another plan. However, there was a part in the back of his head that _knew_ Nick would never say 'No'. It wasn't in his being to let people down. Jay had to count on Nick's goodness to get what he wanted. It was his only hope.

* * *

The day had gone horribly. On the way to the Barber Shop hadn't been bad, in fact Gatsby had been quite right about Nick's reactions, especially to Jay's driving. Of course, he really didn't drive that fast normally, but he did like to show off. And show off he did. Jay had even got to flash around his connections as he had almost gotten pulled over by a motorcycle cop. What a day.

After the ride, however, the day's quality plummeted. Gatsby had introduced Nick to Meyer Wolfshiem. Jay could tell Nick was thoroughly intimidated by the man, although he had tried to not let it show. It was a little bit adorable, yet sad the way Nick masked that he was afraid. Maybe it was smart, too. Meyer fed on the weakness of others. Jay wouldn't let Nick show his.

Gatsby had interrupted right as Meyer was showing Nick his tooth tie clip. Meyer had taken that as his cue to leave, but not before stopping to talk to Gatsby, lips so close to Jay's ear he could feel Meyer's breath down his neck.

"He's a pretty boy, ain't he. It would be a shame if something were to happen to him."

Jay looks him in the eyes, "We're not that close."

"I see." Meyer gives Jay a measuring look, "Be sure that transaction goes through and you won't have to worry 'bout pretty boy getting his face beat in. Understood?"

"Understood."

Meyer leaves Gatsby's sight with a grin on his face. Gatsby tries and succeeds at refraining from growling at the retreating figure.

"What was that about?" Nick speaks, looking at Gatsby with big, inquisitive eyes.

Before Gatsby can respond, a loud booming voice calls out, "Nick".

As Jay looks up, his spirits sink even lower as he recognizes Tom Buchanan, Daisy's husband.

Nick smiles and walks toward the intimidating man, "Tom, it's nice to see you."

"It's nice to see you, too, Nick. Who is your friend?"

Nick straightens up, possibly having momentarily forgotten about Jay, "Ah, right. This is my neighbor, Jay Gatsby," He turns to Jay, "This is Tom Buchanan, my cousin Daisy's Husband."

Gatsby quickly plasters a smile onto his face, not at all pleased with the situation, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," replies Tom, taking Jay's hand into a crushing grip.

And just like that, it's over and Jay is walking away, ignoring Nick's voice yelling after him.

* * *

Jay stood by Nick's house, anxiously waiting for his reply. Gatsby had tried to apologize for his prior behavior, but, as he had suspected, Nick had already forgiven him. It was a long few seconds and Jay nearly jumped when Nick spoke.

"I'll do it."

Gatsby looked up at him in astonishment. He couldn't believe his ears.

"I'll invite Daisy over for tea."

"Old sport, you have no idea how much that means to me. What do you want? I'll give you anything."

Nick looked over at him and laughed, "I don't want anything. It's a favor."

And once more, Jay was nearly blinded by Nick's kindness. Gatsby wasn't sure how such a being could exist on earth.

They quickly arranged the time and date of the tea party and Gatsby arranged for landscapers to clean up Nick's yard. He did feel slightly rude for this, but he wanted everything to be perfect when he met Daisy again. And it would be perfect, he was sure of it.

* * *

"Thank you."

People have a way of shocking you. Nick seemed to like shocking Gatsby, as Jay remembered it. It started with those two simple words. It had been after Jay had invited Nick to that fateful first party, after Jordan had been impolitely dragged away by her boyfriend. Nick had simply looked up at Gatsby and said, "Thank you."

No one ever said thank you. Gatsby could count on one hand the times that had happened to him.

Many people had said the words 'thank you to him' but very rarely had they meant it. Not like Nick had. Nick was too sincere for his own good. But then again, there needed to be more people like him in the world.

Nick continued to shock him every time Jay saw him. It's like he knew exactly what Jay needed to hear.

Gatsby has never had someone read him like this. It was nothing short of amazing. He hoped it would continue.

* * *

Embarrassment burns Gatsby's cheeks as he waits outside in the rain for Nick to answer the door. Why did he leave so suddenly? Jay has no idea. He just knew he had to get out of there. After a quick lap around the house, he found himself back at Nick's front door.

He knocked without thinking, hoping that Nick will get to the door soon.

Nick opens it with a quick exclamation of "What are you doing?", but Gatsby simply pushes past him, towards a prize five years overdue.

Silence meets his ears, Daisy is struck dumb with the revelation.

The next few minutes are excruciatingly painful. Nobody knows what to say. Nick tries to easy everybodies nerves with tea, but that causes the three to sip in silence.

Suddenly, Nick exclaims he has to get something in town, that he would be back in just a minute. Jay can't believe his ears and chases after Nick to ask him what he is doing.

"You can't leave me alone in there with her! I don't know what to do!"

Nick grabs Jay by the shoulders and looks into his eyes. At this highly inappropriate time, Jay notices that Nick is taller than him, "Look, I understand that you are embarrassed, but you have to understand that she is embarrassed, too."

"Daisy is embarrassed?"

"Yes, and now you have left her all alone in there. You need to man up and get back in there. You can do this, I believe in you."

And just like that he slams the door and is out.

* * *

Last night Jay had been a mess of nerves, so he made a trip out to his small dock. This had been a nightly occurrence recently. Just knowing that Daisy was right across the water was nothing short of torture. The green light pinpointed exactly where his love was. That in itself was comforting. That light gave him hope.

Sometimes he reached his hand out towards the water, as though his arms were long enough to reach the green light. Gatsby knew this seemed childish, but nonetheless it comforted him. He could reach it. He would reach it soon, with Nick's help.

Nothing and no one could hold him back now, not even Nick.

* * *

Nick returns an hour later, making all sorts of noise to signal his arrival, and all is well between Daisy and Gatsby.

Jay had spent that long hour tell Daisy of what had happened to him and of the green light at the end of her dock. The reunion had been bittersweet, filled with many tears on Daisy's part.

The rain has stopped and it seems now they are going to take a tour of Gatsby's Mansion grounds. Gatsby barely remembers Nick, but in the end invites him along, too. Jay is not sure why, but he wants Nick to see this too.

He is excited to show them, his two favorite humans, all that he has. After a quick tour of the grounds, they make their way up to Gatsby's room. Jay has plenty of fun throwing his fancy English dress shirts at the laughing Daisy. Nick stands idly by as the scene unfurls. All three are overjoyed, Gatsby and Daisy because they are together again and Nick because he is happy for them. Suddenly, however, Daisy is crying and Gatsby is comforting her.

"Why are you crying?"

Daisy struggles to think up some excuse, "Because these are such nice shirts," she says, tears running down her face.

Everyone in the room knows she is lying, but they let it slip.

Gatsby and Daisy cuddle for a while as he comforts her, Nick mysteriously gone. Gatsby would like to say that Nick slipped his mind, but if he did he would be lying.

"What do you say we go dancing?" Jay randomly says, hoping to free his mind of Nick.

"With what music?" Daisy questions, an adorably confused look on her face.

"That's why I have Klipspringer here! He is a musical genius. Come on, let's go."

Jay grabs Daisy by the hand, pulling her towards the ballroom.

* * *

Nick randomly resurfaces once they reach the ballroom. Gatsby doesn't ask him where he went. He simply says, "Hello, Old sport," and beckons his servants to wake up Mr. Klipspringer.

Once Klipspringer is seated by the large organ, he begins to play a popular song, "Ain't we got fun?"

Daisy walks up to Nick and starts dancing with him, alleviating the soft awkwardness in the room.

Nick surprisingly is a good dancer, a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by Gatsby. Jay feels his eyes lingering on the other man more than what can be called healthy, forcefully redirecting his attention on Daisy. But it's no use. His eyes feel like they are magnets and Nick is the conductor. He can't look away.

After the first song is up, Gatsby politely cuts in, taking Daisy's hand into his own and dances with her. He couldn't stand looking at Nick any longer. It's wrong, the thing he is feeling. So he has to stop.

Nick slips away like the good man he is to allow Jay and Daisy some privacy and Gatsby pretends like he doesn't notice.

* * *

Jay did not see Nick for several weeks after reuniting with Daisy. He feels odd. Gatsby should be ecstatic to be with Daisy, his lost love, once more, but he feels as though something is wrong. Tom and Daisy attend one of his parties and can't help but notice Tom is suspicious of something, whether it be Daisy and Jay's relationship or something else.

The party is stifling and even Daisy has a bad time, something Gatsby had otherwise thought was impossible.

At the end of the party, Jay sees Nick, and, having a desperate need to talk to someone he can trust, he goes to him.

"I just want things to return to as they were five years ago. I have been trying to convince Daisy to leave Tom so we can be together."

For the first time in all of the times he has simply listened, he replies, "You know you can't repeat the past, right?"

"No, no, no! That's where you're wrong, Old sport!" Says Gatsby, distraught, "Money can do anything especially where Daisy is concerned."

After a bit more of talking, Nick walks back through the debris of the party and into his house.

* * *

Gatsby calls off all of his parties, their main reason having been fulfilled. He also fires his old servants so Daisy and he will not be gossiped about. He feels as though he has done all he can to keep his reputation clean.

He did not, however expect the events to come.

Jay, having been invited over for lunch with the Buchanans, drives over, expecting the worst. To his surprise, Nick arrives a short while later, making the situation seem even more awkward. Jay hadn't been counting on him being there.

It was the hottest day of the summer, or at least that is what the newspaper said. Gatsby could certainly believe it. He could feel the sweat starting to seep through his pink suit, something that definitely would not make a good impression on anyone. Especially not…

Gatsby stopped that train of thought there, telling himself he was not entirely sure where it was going. However, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew exactly where it was going, to that forbidden place where he had tried to lose the key to. Gatsby cursed his thoughts for lingering on Nick, his brain couldn't do that to him here, now. There was simply too much at stake.

The remaining time spent at the Buchanan residence summed up into words would simply be as follows: not fun. There was one little fact that had slipped Gatsby's mind- Daisy had a child, a delicate, pixie-esque thing. She was gorgeous, a spitting image of her mother, with little characteristics of her father mingled in there. Her dark brown eyes were a shade from Daisy's, more comparable to Tom's. Nothing like Nick's blue.

Jay had to look away, startled by his thoughts and Daisy's disregard for her own blood. There were many changes from the ethereal girl Daisy had been. Gatsby wasn't sure that he liked this new Daisy. But, then, he supposed we all had to do some growing up sometimes. She still smiled like Daisy would and that wonderful laugh still rang through the air from time to time, so Gatsby decided that she still was Daisy. It was all he could do but look at her, the love, the connection between the two becoming evident between the two, Gatsby thought, even to Tom.

"We should go to New York," Daisy speaks, eyes still lingering on Jay.

A slight pause went around the room before Tom spoke, "Why, yes. We should. What do you say, Nick?"

The slap on Nick's shoulder resonates throughout the room and Jay watches as Nick as he holds back a wince. Nick barely nods his head before Tom is standing and walking over to the door. Jay hates this- hates this feeling of worry, of overprotectiveness, of helplessness he feels about Nick, hell, this entire situation. It was taking all of his self control to not lose his bravado. He had to do this. There was no other way.

Jay followed Tom to the front door, holding Daisy's hand and tugging her into action. Nick walked at Jordan's side.

Instantly, Jay felt shame. He had brought two innocent bystanders into this mess. Nick and his… person… had nothing to do with this and yet he had dragged them along like two little rag dolls, playing with them into submission, not unlike Tom.

It was too late to turn back. Gatsby couldn't tell them to go home now. It wouldn't be fair, he thought, in a twisted way. They had seen this drama through, it wouldn't fair to send them home before the end.

And so the play went on, ever closer to the end.

* * *

Jay can honestly say he lost his mind a little bit back there. Tom had stomped him like a bug, even letting Jay take Daisy home, as he was so sure he had won. And he did.

Oh god, he couldn't believe this. All of those years, all of that work had ended in this. This endless bad dream. And things continued to get worse.

Gatsby had let Daisy drive. She needed to calm down, she said. Driving would help her, she said. And Jay let her, because he loved her. Maybe, the part of his mind hellbent on getting Daisy back, this would convince her to be his and his alone. He had to have her. He needed her.

But then, it happened. Daisy hit… he couldn't even think of it. Why did it have to happen? And then Daisy drove off like her actions were excusable or an accident, but Jay knew like hell they weren't. That woman was dead because of his insane love for a girl that had changed and denial for his love of another.

He had to get out of here, but he also had to make sure Daisy was safe with Tom. Even after all she had done, after all Jay had done, he had to make sure she would be ok.

He went to the Buchanan's house, lingering in the bushes, barely noticing when Nick appeared, asking him what he was doing there. Jay barely knew why.

Jay told Nick what he had told himself, he must see if Daisy is ok, asking Nick to go and see what they are doing. Gatsby knew he wouldn't be happy, but he had to know. He had to know for sure if this was still worth pursuing and, sure enough, it wasn't.

* * *

Jay went home after that, lingering on his dock for some time, reaching out to that green light, so far away now. The other end of the water seemed miles away now, his dream lost to the insufferable sea. He couldn't help the tears that slipped down his face. Years of dreaming had culminated to this disaster. Perhaps it was time to find a new dream.

Nick had come over the next day and they had spoke for hours on end about Jay's past, making Nick desperately late for work. Something inside of Gatsby had screamed to tell Nick how he felt, but he couldn't. He couldn't sway Nick to his perverse ideals. Nick was with Jordan, and it would be wrong to change that now. He had seen how that ends just hours before.

"Old sport, I…" Jay began, unable to find the words.

"What's wrong, Jay?" Nick said, looking at him with those soul searching eyes, the eyes that always saw the best in him.

"N-nothing. You best be off now, I don't want you to be even more late. I will see you later."

"Alright. A later time then."

Just like that, Nick was gone, speeding off down the road.

* * *

James was going to go swimming. He had not made it to his pool once this summer, on his desperate chase of a failed love.

Floating on a pool raft, he went over his life and how he had gotten here. Too many mistakes. He should had forgotten about Daisy the second he had seen those blue eyes. Life would have been much easier…

* * *

He heard the shot go off before he felt the pain. It was excruciating, like a million bee stings slowly spreading through his body. It was when he started going numb that he knew he was dying. He had lost all feeling when he heard a second shot and then the sound of running feet, a splash following shortly after.

James was being pulled through the water and onto land. He knew that he wasn't breathing, that his heart was stopping soon. He couldn't feel his own pulse anymore. The world was growing dark, he was bleeding out. He thought he heard a distant scream, although he was certain it was much closer that it had sounded. Sirens. Nothing.

. . .

* * *

When he woke up, all he felt was pain. The sun was too bright, his muscles ached from disuse, and then, oh god, it was all he could do but scream. He heard a nurse scream for a doctor and a familiar voice yelling, "JAY!"

He passed out soon enough, the pain too much. It was a week before he could wake up and stay awake. He was sure the hospital had gotten a workout in that time frame. James had found out that the voice he had heard had been none other than one Nick Carraway.

James wasn't sure if was the medication he was on acting against him, but Nick was more stunning than usual. Perhaps it was because he had finally freed up the space in his mind by giving up on Daisy, but he was willing to tell Nick everything now.

Nick was asleep, something James had never seen sans that time Nick had fallen asleep on his porch. James couldn't look away, stunned by the other man's beauty. Nick had insisted on being in the shadows so much that James had never taken a proper look at him. Now that he had, he couldn't help but be captivated. He would make Nick his. He had to.


End file.
